I have been in Phoenix for almost 8 months now. 8 months away from everything I have known in California. Mike and I were talking the other day, that while we have each other - we still feel alone. We have no friends out here. It is draining, waking up, going to work, coming home, eating dinner, going to bed, and doing it all over again. I needed something in my life to break up the monotony.
I have had success with meetup groups in the past, so I took to the internet and began my search. I quickly found a new group that had just started, that would be meeting soon. So, I went. Fast forward a few weeks, and the group had posted it was doing an Imbolc Ritual. I had not done public/group ritual in a long time so I was a bit hesitant to go. I had a whole speech planned out in my head about how I was going to let them know I just wanted to experience, I didn't want to have a major part... but all that went out the window when I walked in.
The group organizer asked me if I would be willing to play the part of the maiden. Every fear I had on my way there, vanished. And I decided this is what I needed. I accepted the request, and partook in the ritual as the maiden. It was a beautiful, and much needed ritual. I love Imbolc, for the reason of new beginnings. This felt like that for me. A new town, a new group, new friends. It feels good to say. I'm beginning to feel connected to community, and not feel like an outsider looking in.
Tonight made me feel better about being open in my path. I know my last post was a bit of a rambling nightmare - where I wasn't sure if I should be closeted again or not. I think that was just my fear of the unknown. But tonight, I pushed through that fear - I felt welcomed, and valued as a member of the group. I felt empowered.
This doesn't mean I will outright scream at the top of my lungs that I am Pagan to the world, but more of a Don't Ask, Don't Tell. If no one brings it up, I won't bring it up. If they do... well, I guess we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
Tonight was much needed - a break from the political catastrophe that is our current presidential situation, a break from work, a break from being afraid. I welcome the chance for new beginnings.